I write this in response to a question asked online. The answer to me, is not so much how can you, but simply, do you want to? I don’t mean in any way to minimize the seriousness or any of the hurt here, but in order to reduce being hurt and protect oneself, I would take steps towards writing down what it is about the other person I value so much, and how can I start creating that value within myself?
Many years ago I was in a disastrous relationship with someone who I discovered had betrayed me as well as a third party. Yet I found it almost impossible to let go of this person and move on. He was so very different than me, and I failed to see how anyone else or how I could provide to myself what I perceived he added to my life. Yet I did discover how, by really reflecting and meditating on this. I would rather help you think critically than tell you just anything or give a pat answer. (Thinking critically here does not mean criticism, but a sense of deep analysis)
The reason I write this is because I know just how much pain and hurt there can be here, and you deserve so very much more than that. I healed when I shifted the attention away from waiting for and evaluating someone else, to investing all that energy on building me up inside and developing trust with myself. That profile pic you see of me is the morning after I had met a very genuine, kind, trustworthy, handsome, caring man. How did I know when I met the real thing? Because I had become the real thing. I married him 5 months after and we have been together, without bs for over 4 years. It’s not about him, it’s about you. Enjoy your life.